today i am at eydie’s house right now it’s christmas and i am skipping out on going to my aunts for christmas, it is a more important day for me to figure out who i am and i need to rly think a lot about it. i just drank some very strong coffee, and i am just waiting, i am ignoring phone calls and last night i had sex with teresa and took strange photographs of her they are some usable maybe a  bit grotesque. i have a lot of music i can work on but lost in it too, perhaps the reason why i came to SP42012 today is to remind me, SP42012 is very important, it is gaining society. Eydie is going to christmas today with her mom and her dad offered us a lot of food, he is so sweet i’ve known him for like a long time maybe like 7 years. 

one time(a few times) eydie and i made love and it was amazing. i love her so today i was obsessed with her pink outfit

hey i know it’s u


  • Hey
Infinite Body

—A Fool Persists

ok cool so this bird imitates babies really well

trippy backwards shit freud said about art. TAKE SUM LEAVE SOME I SAY.

Before i let you go to-day, however, I should like to direct your attention a little longer to a side of the life of phantasy which deserves the most general interest. For there is a path that leads back from phantasy to reality - the path, that is, of art.

-omg sig freud

access to the half-way region of phantasy is permitted by the universal assent of humankind. (So basically all ppl can collectively reach a cross between reality and phantasy that they somehow wordlessly agree on and this somehow connects to individual artists’ work HHMMMM INTERSTING IDEA )

for those who are not artists, the yield of pleasure to be derived from the sources of phantasy is very limited. (the artist)understanding how to tone them down so that they do not easily betray their origin from proscribed sources. furthermore, they possess the mysterious power of shaping some particular material until it has become a faithful image of their phantasy; and they know, moreover, how to link so large a yield of pleasure to this representation of their unconscious phantasy that, for the time being at least, repressions are outweighed and lifted by it. If they are able to accomplish all this, they make it possible for other people once more to derive consolation and alleviation from their own sources of pleasure in their unconscious which have become inaccessible to them; the artists earn their gratitude and admiration and have thus achieved through their phantasy what originally they had achieved only in their phantasy - honour, power and love. 

the habits of our lives make us presume that things will happen in a certain foreseeable way, that there will be a vague coherence in the world